


Texting The Garment Thief

by DagReaper (TyJaxReaper), Malachai Parker (NeverTrustAFox)



Category: The Originals (TV)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Klaus Is The Sass Queen, Lucien Is A Little Shit, M/M, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-25
Updated: 2016-11-25
Packaged: 2018-09-02 00:50:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8644852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TyJaxReaper/pseuds/DagReaper, https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeverTrustAFox/pseuds/Malachai%20Parker
Summary: Klaus: Lucien, I do hope I’m not interrupting you while you’re in the business of rolling around in my garments.Lucien: Rolling around in your garments? Really Nik, what do you take me for? Some sort of savage?





	

 

 **Klaus** : Lucien, I do hope I’m not interrupting you while you’re in the business of rolling around in my garments.

 

 **Lucien:** Rolling around in your garments? Really Nik, what do you take me for? Some sort of savage?

 

 **Klaus:** Coincidentally, yes, I do.

 

 **Lucien:** Funny that, I could have sworn I was the one to be brought up in a civilized society.

 

 **Klaus:** Well, the tables can turn quite easily in a thousand years.

 

 **Lucien:** Is old age getting to you?

 **Lucien:**  Or, did you forget that I’m not just some baby vampire.

 **Lucien:** You’re not that much older than me love, you know this.

 

 **Klaus:** Yes, well, that being said, you’re clearly contradicting yourself in that statement by acting on this bizarre impulse you seemed to have picked up.

 

 **Lucien:** I really have no idea what you are talking about, Nik. You _must_ have the wrong person.

 

 **Klaus:** I’m sure I don’t, seeing as you hadn’t masked your scent when you decided to raid my closet.

 

 **Lucien** : We’re not even the same size!

 

 **Klaus:** Clearly that didn’t stop you.

 

 **Lucien:** Clearly, you're an idiot.

 

 **Klaus:** Really, Lucien. I recall you pointing out that you weren’t a child. No, I believe your exact words were ‘ _I’m not just some baby vampire_ ’.

 

 **Lucien:** And I’m not! I never said that I wasn’t childish. Two completely different things...

 

 **Klaus:** You’re delusional to think it. Now, would you care to explain as to why you thought that stealing my clothes was a good idea.

 

 **Lucien** : I’ll take that first part as a compliment. As I’ve previously said, I didn’t _steal_ your clothes...

 

 **Klaus:** Your recently present and unmasked scent says otherwise. Or have you forgotten that my senses are far more sensitive to that of a vampire? Let alone being one of the first.

 

 **Lucien:** Bloody original vampires...

 

 **Klaus:** And a bloody original vampire I am. Explain yourself.

 

 **Lucien:** I don’t have to explain myself to you, Niklaus.

 

 **Klaus:** Oh, so you’d rather I appear and forcibly compel the truth out of you, yes?

 

 **Lucien:** You wouldn’t dare.

 

 **Klaus:** This would be a meager action against you compared to what I’ve done to my _siblings_ , Lucien.

 

 **Lucien:** Oh please, Nik. You know you like me more than you like them.

 

 **Klaus:** And that wouldn’t stop me.

 

 **Lucien:** A shame, really.

 

 **Klaus:** How so...

 

 **Lucien:** Would you really come after the one person who can actually stand you, Nik? And here I thought you were more wise than that.

 

 **Klaus:** Lucien, the dramatics are a bore. I’d appreciate the truth to know as to why you had the idea of taking clothes from my room.

 

 **Lucien** : Okay old man, fine. I may have procured a few items from your closet...

 

 **Klaus:** And your reasoning behind your little urge?

 

 **Lucien:** Nothing I’d like to share with you, Nik.

 

 **Klaus:** I’m not concerned with what you _like_ right this second, Lucien.

 

 **Lucien** : I have no obligation to tell you. Nik, dear, you may be my sire but that is _all_ you are.

 

 **Klaus:** Well then, you’d have no problem with bringing them back and hanging them back in my closet.

 

 **Lucien** : No!

 

 **Klaus:** A bit defensive, aren’t we?

 

 **Lucien:** Defensive? Me, what are you talking about? I’m not being defensive. You are!

 

 **Klaus:** Did I strike a nerve, dear Lucien? And about _my_ clothes, no less.

 

 **Lucien:** I don’t see why this is so important to you. Your clothes are replaceable.

 

 **Klaus:** May be, but I have more important matters than shopping. Bring them back, or I’ll soon be there to take them myself.

 

 **Lucien:** Well maybe you should be paying a little more attention to those important matters and quit pestering me, Nik. Good lord, you’ve spent way too much time around those blasted humans.

 

 **Klaus:** If I didn’t know any better, Lucien. I’d suspect that you have an _attachment_ to my belongings.

 

 **Lucien:** And so what if I did? What’s it to you?

 

 **Klaus:** Well, they’re my things, so I’d like to know as to what you have planned with them.

 

 **Lucien:** Well...If you really want to know what I plan to do with your stolen goods...I suppose I can tell you.

 

 **Klaus:** Please do.

 

 **Lucien:** I plan to summon Satan.

 **Lucien:** That was sarcasm...Just in case you missed it, old boy.

 

 **Klaus:** Return the damn clothes, Lucien.

 

 


End file.
